Hi guys, I hope you have all had a great week! My week has been fantastic, I am celebrating two things!
1) I finally felt ready to leave Group Therapy! I have been attending for one year despite the fact it is a 6-12 week programme! It’s was a fantastic support and has helped me to build a solid foundation to finding myself!
2) I found a part time job!!!!!!!! (Screaming out loud). When you have a criminal conviction under your belt! This is a big big deal.
I share this news with you because these two things, that may appear minute to others are a representation of the progress I have made and more importantly will show all my readers the importance of investing in yourself, being kind to yourself, being patient and allowing yourself time to start healing.
I have come a long way and I will never be a finished piece, (after all I am human) but I am back on the road to success.
In light of all of the above I would like to begin a new series that I will revisit from time to time here on the blog and that is the concept of “Ride or Die”. It is one of the many concepts that I brought into, one of the concepts that left me broken and trying to put the pieces of myself back together. It has so many aspects to it I cannot get it all down in one post and because it means me looking back to my old life, I won’t write about it every week I don’t wish to be stuck in the past! But I do wish to use my past to educate and inspire others!
I hope you all enjoy the Ride or Die series as and when it appears.
Dear Road Man
I understand that you too are broken. I get that like us all, you have some deep rooted childhood wounds that are just playing out in your adult life. I understand that you believe that all you do is to better yourself and your loved ones! I get it, from your perspective there is no other way to live, to succeed. These streets are all you know they are all you have!
Society has already judged you, written you off and told you you cannot achieve more, I see that you believe you are proving them wrong!
Material things nice cars, expensive clothes, lots of women (or should I use one of your preferred terms bitches, hoes, slags), all your possessions make you a king in these streets. I guess you think you have made it huh? I guess you think that in all of these possessions you have now achieved, you have now proven to the world you are balling! I guess you believe you have surpassed the judgements people made that you would amount to nothing!!!!!! But have you?
Now don’t get me wrong I too believed at one time that this was success in our streets. I believed as a road mans side piece I had made it. I gave up real success because I did not know myself, I did not love myself, and I put my worth in the hands of a “successful road man”!
Dear road man have you really surpassed the expectations people held for you, when they told you you would amount to nothing? Or Are you living up to those expectations? Please don’t answer right away with your street mind! Take some time to think!
Maybe take that time in the jail cell to contemplate your Success. The possessions that you built upon a foundation of sand. That now sit in the hands of law enforcers pretending they will be destroyed under the premises of what they call a Confiscation Order!
Tell me do you contemplate your success? Do you recognise the lives that you may have destroyed! Your mother now subjected to years of only visiting you for two hours a week! She pretends she can afford these visits but back at home crying herself to sleep with worry of you and all her bills! Your bitch/ hoe serving time for you under the premise of loyalty and the hope that you will see she is the one that should be your wife (Ride or Die)! Your baby mothers left to raise their children alone. Those children admire you as the example they will aspire to become! (Is this the life you want for them?) I have not touched on the lives of those strangers who had their vulnerabilities exploited but I’m guessing you don’t see that as your responsibility!
Now don’t get me wrong, I too played a part in this street life. Agreeing with you and telling you that this life was right! Never sharing with you an honest opinion that what you do is wrong! Ignoring it all because I needed to feel love and acceptance too, so of course I will help you look like success. I will accept being a side woman(or is that bitch). I will stroke your ego and tell you you are right in all that you do as long as you stay with me until 4am when you must return home to your actual wife! You can treat me in any derogatory way you like as long as you stay!
Dear Road Man
You are so much more than all I describe, if I did not tell you before I am telling you now! You have valuable skills, knowledge and experience that cannot be brought or taught! You are a true king inside and this does not need to be proven through your possessions and status on the road!
Take your talents and uses them to build you a foundation made of stone! One that cannot be taken away from you in a blink of an eye! If I never told you before I love you for all that you are inside and not all that you have! I know better now and I want better for you too!
Dear Road Man understand you have the Devine Power to change things for the next generation! No better do Better!
So the advice you need is within this post and I will not draw it out for you but I will encourage you to share it! If it does not help you it might help another!